What Makes a Holy Family

The second reading for the Feast of the Holy Family, Colossians 3:12-17, is considered by many scripture scholars to be part of an instruction given to a group of newly baptized adults. It speaks of putting on the virtues of heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. The previous section of Colossians 3 speaks of putting away vices like "fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desires, lust, anger, malice, insults, foul language, lying." The "putting on" and "putting away" refers to the baptismal garment which is put on after the baptism to represent the new way of life one embraces as a disciple. In baptism one takes off or puts away the old garment, the old way of life, represented by the vices mentioned.

The virtues mentioned in Colossians 3:12-17 are to be embraced over the course of one's whole life. On the feast of the Holy Family we might do well to examine whether these virtues are present in our family relationships and, in fact, in all our relationships.

St. Paul says, "Put on heartfelt compassion."

Compassion comes from the Latin words "cum" and "passio," meaning "to suffer with." Paul's admonition to put on heartfelt compassion invites you and me to consider whether we are sympathetic to the discomforts, distresses, and worries of others or do we tend to brush them off as inconsequential, or even worse, not even to notice that a family member or friend is in distress? A compassionate person may not have the solution to another's dilemma, e.g. he cannot cure cancer or make a difficult subject easy for a struggling son or daughter, but he will not let another struggle alone. This can make a huge difference for the one in distress. Are you a compassionate person at home?

St. Paul says, "Put on (heartfelt) kindness."

Some people are kind and considerate at work, school, and in the various places they spend their days and then go home and treat their family members with little of the kindness they are known for outside the home. Are you kind and considerate to the people with whom you live or do you take them for granted? Do you ever compliment them, thank them, or let them know how much they mean to you? Are you a kind person at home?

St. Paul says, "Put on (heartfelt) humility."

Humility does not mean putting yourself down. There is nothing wrong with recognizing our gifts and being proud of who we are. However, humble people recognize that the world does not revolve around them and that a family does not exist to wait on them and them alone. For family life to work, it has to be a team effort. There are a lot of mundane things that have to be done to make a household work. If should not be beneath any of us to help with household tasks. Are you a person of humility at home?

St. Paul says, "Put on (heartfelt) gentleness."

Gentleness is not a sign of weakness but rather a quality of a respectful person. I hope that none of us who follow Christ would ever allow ourselves to be so numbed by the violence and abuse in the world around us that we would allow disrespect and abuse to creep into our behavior and treatment of others. Abusive and disrespect behavior has no place in a Christian household. Are you a gentle and respectful person at home?

Finally, St. Paul says, "Put on (heartfelt) patience."

Life does not always go the way we want it to all the time. We all have our idiosyncracies. Whenever two or more people live under the same roof, we have to accommodate. The world is not a perfect place; none of us are perfect people, therefore, patience with one another is a must. Don't we all hope that others cut us some slack as we bumble along in life? Should we not be willing to do the same for others? Patience with one another is a must in family life. Are you a patient person at home?

Paul says that whatever we do, we must do it in the name of the Lord Jesus and out of love. The five virtues above are part of what is means to be a baptized Christian. Added to that, should we not want to work at them as a gift to those we love? In our homes and with those we call family or friend, let us be people of heartfelt (not half-hearted) compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Let us strive for these virtues out of love and in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Fr. John P. Klein, Pastor